Where am i now?
Saturday, November 1, 2008 @ 2:35 AM
Now i am looking at the mac clock at the top right hand corner of my mac. It is 1:46AM.
I haven post for a long time already. Yah man, I have been mentally stress because i know what is
coming right in my face. Yeah man, i am also confused to choose about my where i should go in the future.
Should i go OIAP and intern in Taiwan or should i just have inter-ship in S'pore. I am really confused.
But even if i want a OIAP, can i even get contacts to ask? All these are question that i can't even answer myself.
But still i hope everything can work its way out if not i will work my ass off for it. That day i was in the preview
theatre, and i saw the prize giving ceremony. I definitely sank to the bottom but i still wish all those who got a cert =)
But somtime i think i work double hard for my GPA. But confirm somethings will screw up. I am just disappointed but
with what actually? Is it that i am really not good enough to be here? Or i should continue work hard? Who can see how hard we work? maybe a few close friends? But i know clearly myself i had. Maybe my good is not good enough.
Then i just finish my film hostory presentation. For one thing i am always weak at presentation but at least i try to speak up and bring my point across. For my point is when the person is presenting, the basic respect is needed. But still some fell asleep. I am just like are we lacking of some respect here? Anyway one line that my course manager said was true, "Nothing in the world is fair." I am starting to believe this line more and more.
I am so tired. Tired of everything. Why things is so hard for us? I just don't understand. I was there before and i did
all i can. But when things are gone they are really gone. Nothing much i can do about it. It is not something i anticipate in my way. I definitely hate myself. How did these happen? but still it is useless. The more we talk about it, the more complicated it can get. Just tired from all these. I did sang to you to express how i feel. But if i were to sing the same song to you, will it feel the same again? The answer should be obvious. Sometime moving on is hard, but if you are having difficulties does that mean i don't have at all? For these sudden change, even i need time to cool down. Well, i can be smiling in front of my friends but when i see that there is still some sadness that lingers on her, it triggers my mind and feeling to think back again. To walk down the memory lane, it seems sad for me. But in order to be fair and true to you, i have to say the truth. Whether can you accept it or move on, i can only help as a friend. It is really time we stop this and move on.
I should go and rest now.
"A smile is so easy to forge but what lies behind the fakeness is sadness."
聽著這首歌，我不停想起過去
該放手的愛，我不想再去強求
我只想說 要你快樂的走 不要讓寂莫找上了
好讓我的不安 像裝上翅膀飛向天空
就讓時間平府 望比此的下一個幸福 更快樂。
晚安...
--xoxo,
yichee
yichee
